T Day! 20/12/11

I really wanted to post last night but I was knackered and didn't get back in until coming up to midnight. Spent the day travelling and stressing so bed was the best place to unwind and the missus was waiting for me :D.

Was really happy that I'd managed to sort out the day, managing to get to see Dr Curtis and a councillor in the same day it's obviously expensive to go the private route and the last thing I wanted was to pay for two journeys when it could be done in one.

My appointment was at 4.30pm with Dr Curtis and 5.30pm with Sharon Fillingham (who I highly recommend after what she did for me - seeing me at last minute on her day off... If you want any contact numbers I'll happily pass them on).

We left home around 9am so we could go down and have a trial run to see where the place was where I had to meet Sharon and then have enough time to have a walk around London and in mums words 'take in the London Christmas atmosphere'. By the time we went to find out where Sharon was we had hours to kill. So we walked around London, I got myself some Ben Sherman jeans and mum got herself a nice jumper thing. Then just before 4pm we noticed my bag was making the alarms go off, to realise the security tag was still on my jeans! That meant that we had to run back down to the Ben Sherman shop to get it removed as we wouldn't have time to do it after seeing Dr Curtis! All this time we had to chill out and relax suddenly became a last minute rush. We still got there on time with about 10 minutes to spare. The travelling and stress had made me develop a really bad tension headache, at first it was going on and off. I was hydrated but then we typically didn't have any paracetamol on us.

We went into see Richard. I was a bit unsure what the appointment was going to consist of to be honest. Deep down I was hoping I would walk away with hormones but I didn't want to get my hopes up too much as I've been let down before when I've had them up. We went into talking about the good points and bad points of hormones and then what my options were. Was this it? Did the options he gave me mean I could actually choose what I wanted?! ... Yeah :). He showed me a chart with the peaks and troughs on with the different types of T. I had also wanted nebido. Just because it's every 3 months. I don't mind needles but at least I had 3 months worry free. Also with the shortage I didn't want to have to worry about getting hold of it every 10 days. So I chose nebido, it has way less peaks and troughs so it didn't take much for me to decide. That was it, he was going to write to my GP to get him prescribe me Nebido. My life was about to change. I didn't realise at this moment just how soon. I was expecting then to have to wait for the letter to arrive at my doctors and with it nearly being Christmas etc it would take some time. Although that wasn't the case. Mum spoke up and said I wanted it that day. He told me how much it would cost - £130. Mum already had told me she would lend me the money.... This was it, he was about to inject me with my first shot of T. My heart started pounding. My palms started to sweat. Was this a dream? I wanted to pinch myself but I just knew that the injection alone would hurt never mind pinching myself to go with it! It would have to be injected into my bum cheek. I got a bit embarrassed and asked mum to leave the room but I kind of wish now she had shared that moment with me - the same as my girlfriend who really wanted to come but couldn't as she was working. I wanted them both there but I just clammed up and wanted to be alone and get it done with. The needle was quite big and he told me it would all have to go in. I was quite nervous. In it went, it didn't hurt at first until about half way through and this huge ache came over me. It didn't really sting like he said it would, just an ache. It felt a bit like cramp. He took it out and it was over with. I was officially a man on T.

I went back outside and mum had already paid, just left me to pay for the appointment. My arse was killing me. The fact I had to then sit down for an hour and give someone my life story was not what I wanted to do. I wanted to jump about and explode with happiness but at the same time, I kept my happiness under wraps as I didn't want to rub it in my mums face. It's not only a big day for me but it was also the moment I guess she had been dreading. Didn't want to add salt to the wound.

Off we went to Warren Street tube to meet Sharon. She was already waiting as we were a few minutes late. She seemed lovely from the moment I met her. So we went into a room and sat down for an hour and just chatted. She didn't have any doubts in her mind and made me feel really good when she mentioned that I pass really well now without even any hormones and she has been working with trans men for over 30 years I think she said. All in all she is going to give Dr Curtis the go ahead.

So off we went back to the car with my achy bum. My headache on the way back got really sickly and when we arrived back at where we had parked there was a boots. It was just closing, but I begged the security guard to let me get some paracetamol and my charm worked! My headache finally went, had something to eat and faced the long journey back, with if I hadn't mentioned my achy bum!

SO I AM NOW ON TESTOSTERONE! BRING ON THE BEARD!