27/2/11

It's technically now Sunday 27/2/11 as I'm writting this gone midnight.
Haven't managed to achieve a lot today. Finally got round to going work and then ended up going the pub with Soph and her friends.
I enjoy going to the pub with them as they are all down to earth and laidback. They all call me Zak and use the correct pronouns which is really nice. My mates who have known me longer do try hard to call me Zak and keep the right pronouns but it is a hard habbit to break when someone suddenly just changes name and pronouns. Although I'm sure as time goes by it will soon fade out as it is already! I don't kick off about it as it is something that will have to be gradually brought in over time.
I have met a few of Sophs friends now but I did meet some more of the lads tonight who didn't bat an eyelid at me being called Zak so I'm pleased with how well I passed. Was in general tramp clothes mind, hoody and trackies. Not the most femininist of outfits after all.

Plan to get round to cleaning my room later after I've been to sleep and actually do the assignments I have spent the past week saying I am going to do. Still not done too much on them - whoops. I will never learn to do them before last minute.

Asked my mum again if she is sure about coming with me on monday and she is set on coming which is good I guess. Does show that she wants to support me although her reaction, thoughts and feelings on monday may paint a very different picture. We shall see.

Just realised - Monday is tomorrow! Ooooooooh dear. Last kip before my nerves set in over the whole thing. I'm trying to see things from her perspective too, so she must be feeling 10x more nervous than me as I guess she doesn't know what to expect at all. Least I have been to the clinic before and met the psychiatrist.

Also need to make sure I pick up the toy I left at Sophs before monday. (I have one of those quit smoking toys that are meant to give you something other to do than smoke! Everyone thinks I'm a heavy smoker who's trying to quit as I'm forever playing with it. Although it's not like that at all. It keeps me calm and helps my anxiety attacks to stay as panic attacks rather than escalating into something uncontrollable!)