End of April already. Where this year going? Seems be going so fast yet no closer to Charing Cross. They have 3 weeks to get intouch with me now for it to fall into the typical 3 months waiting for a letter.
Been seriously thinking about how to raise £5000 atleast for top surgery. Came up with a devious plan to bullshit my Grandad (I knowwwwwwww it's bad :( but running out of options). I originally told him I hadn't applied to the local University to try and get a new car out of him with having to commute to Manchester Met however many times a week but that failed. Sooo, I have now told him I've applied to Keele (being the local Uni) but because I've applied late it'll mess up my student finance and I'll have to pay the tuition fee's upfront. I have no intentions of telling my Grandad you see. He's 80 odd and slowly but surely losing the plot bless him. Don't really wanna add to the confusion in his mind. Easier to keep him out of it. Anyway, his reply was 'come back down tomorrow I'm too tired to understand the in's and out's' so it's not a no! Although he did try make out he doesn't have that kind of money... We shall see. I do feel bad but a guys gotta do what a guys gotta do. I wanna over come all anxiety ready for September... Made my mind up past few days that binding is going be the way forward. Always been put off it because of the negatives to it being - broken ribs, back ache, restricted breathing and so on. It's especially the restricted breathing that worries me because if have a random anxiety attack obviously, I need to be able to breath freely. But probably starting tomorrow I'll see how it goes. Staying away from duct tape on naked skin though!!!!
Before asking Grandad for the money earlier it hit me I need to set up a new bank account as Rach... I have two compensation claims going through and they going be written out to me as Miss Rachel and I'm not going be able to cash a cheque into Mr Zak am I. Same goes for Grandad if he writes me a nice fat cheque out for £5000 I'm not going be able so 'Oh by the way Grandad, make that payable to me as Mr Zakery!' :/ so going have to do that sometime this week.
Mum made a weird comment earlier, shit has hit the fan for me and brobro last night and we discussing who was worse men or women... (Clearly women if any of you had any doubt about that!) Mums little comment was 'and you wanna be a bloke' but in a bit of a jokey way. Not taking the piss way I don't think... Progress maybe? ... Maybe :).
Quality time with brobro today even if had to be a gay boy and comfort her all day with big man cuddles. S'all good, not that long since it was me being the one being comforted by her. Gonna spend rest the night comforting her too probably although fast asleep in my bed at the moment. Why does everyone always sleep my side? I wanna sleep by the window but oooh no. It always get stolen by who ever sleeps in my bed. Pfft. I'm too soft.
If I go crazy, will you still call me Superman?
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