18/10/12

A month on from last update, a lot has happened but for some reason I haven't logged on here to write about it.

Firstly, I am now a month into Uni, all's going well. Really enjoying it and made some friends. Albeit girls. I sometimes feel like I'm hiding a part of me away as if I am fooling them about being a lad. It's quite a weird feeling, it doesn't bother me all that much as I always planned on being stealth throughout life plus they don't have a clue as everytime they start talking about girlie things they always apologise and say 'you don't know the half of it' it's like... actually I do!

Secondly, Sophs mate has had a baby boy, bit gutted that I haven't met him as we haven't been together for some time now but I guess it brings home that it'll never be me. The baby was born on the fathers birthday, best birthday present ever. I still know I'll be an awesome dad one day when given the chance to have children one way or another. It's about being a role model for the child etc one thing I haven't had!

Thirdly, I rang up Charing Cross today as I had had enough waiting around. Turns out I have an appointment on 30th November at 1.30pm! If I hadn't of rang I have no idea when I would of found out about that. I really can't be bothered to 'convince' some more people that this is what I want! But to be fair bit too late for that now, hopefully it won't be such a massive interrogation as deep voice, beard and flat chest may make them realise it's all too late to say no! As said before the only reason I have bothered battling with the NHS is for bottom surgery, which will probably be a battle anyway due to the fact I don't want the scan graft taken from anywhere that will leave a visible scar, want it taken from back of my thigh or somewhere that can be hidden easily. Have to wait and see what they say.

Things have been quiet at home for a while so I hope that another step forward isn't going to upset things again. Not sure how Mum's feeling lately towards everything as things have just been smooth. Just wish my brother would come to terms with it all, as it does really hurt and upset me when anyone refers to me as my birthname, especially after so long now.