6/7/14

No regrets but so depressed right now. I can't cope with being as I am. Constant pain that pain killers just aren't touching, inability to walk further than 10 steps at 0.01mph and being restless and agitated. I'm meant to be resting but I can't sit still because I am constantly uncomfortable. I can't sleep because the pain is that much it keeps me awake. The main source of pain is in my feet which is weird, feels like a constant stabbing pain, mixed with pins and needles which when the shooting pains start, sends my entire leg into spasm. It hurts to even put my socks on.
Feel sorry for mum and Soph as all I'm moaning about is my feet. I have spoken to my GP about it and he thinks the compression socks have severed a nerve. I did have them on for about 8 days and when I was in the high dependency unit I swelled up with fluid so maybe during that time they were way too small for me. Who knows, all I know is I'm suffering from it now!

After the trip to a&e I've had to have the dressings changed daily, they have been full of fluid every morning and I've even had to change them myself during the night due to them leaking. The district nurse has started to come back in now for 'wound care'. She has today decided to pack the hole which she measured to be 2cm x 1.5cm big, which will hopefully dry the wound out so it can start to heal.

Got yet another appointment at the doctors tomorrow at 5.30pm for my stitches to be taken out. Not looking forward to that as I've never had stitches removed before and some are buried under scabs. On a lighter note though, I should be able to have a shower after they have been taken out!!!! Not had one since the 16th June so you can understand why I am excited about that.
I also have an appointment in London back at the Harley street clinic on Thursday at 1.30pm for a post op review but also because of this wound. Hoping they won't admit me back into hospital, but I can't see why they should. It's not infected and is under control with being dressed daily.

Had a nice weekend as not been alone, Soph took me to Manchester where we hired a wheelchair so I could enjoy the day, was a nice change of scenery. However, tomorrow is Monday which means I spend the day by myself again :( don't cope too well being stuck inside all of the time, can't wait to be able to drive again at the least.


Trying to stay positive, (even though it probably doesn't seem that way) it is just difficult when I feel this hole in my side has given me another step back in recovering.

Sorry if you're squeamish but I have uploaded a picture of the hole so you can see.